Slim Shady Guy

Slim Shady Guy is a parody shortfic written by Violetofen4.

Once upon a time in the land of bleeborg and rainbows there lived a man named Hudson who was named after the river because his parents were hillbillies. Upon entering the age of 5, he told his parents he wanted to join the CIA as an agent.

They laughed at him.

"Byram," they chortled, mistaking his name for another New York river, "Your destaaahhh-nid to be a damn hillbilly hobo and yer goo-nah be a damn hillbilly hobo. Now eat yer beans or we'll rename you to Hobo Joe!"

Upset with his life, Hudson screamed in rage and bolted out the room, screaming, "BUTTERMILK PANCAKES!" His parents looked on with a sigh.

"One day he'll get shot in both 'is knees to save some man named after a small wooded area and a boy with the most bland name ever, then he'll wish 'e was named Hobo Joe," his mother sighed.

.::.

Hudson did in fact become a CIA Agent though. He joined the Brony Faction with two men named Alex Mason and Frank Woods. Hudson grew strange white hair and secretly wished he could become the wife of Mason. He strapped the poor man, from his insanity, to an electric chair. Mason's pain made Hudson so turned on he screamed at him about numbers that he didn't understand quite himself. Mason was so unhappy.

Unfortunately, his marriage proposal to Hudson was cut short when Mason was shot and killed with a bullet to the head. Then Hudson's life was also cut short. His parent's prophecy came true.

"I WISH I HAD BEEN NAMED HOBO JOE!" he sobbed as he was shot in the knees, then his throat was slit with a pendant. No one attended Hudson's funeral.

THE END.