Talk:The War: Ripcord/@comment-3319203-20130524214130

A bit of punctuational errors, but so far looking good. I'm not at all a big war-based fanfiction reader, but I'm impressed. Space out your paragraphs, as blocky paragraphs bore a reader and give less eye-space. Eye-space as in blank spots which give the eye a break, and right now it's a bit minimal. Quotes look good, as do the details in each chapter. The story could be a bit more elaborated in future chapters. Have your character's expressions and movements thoroughly as they seem to be at minimal. However, when you do describe things, just a tip: don't overdo it.

Happy writings!


 * .VioletEclipse